If acceptance is different than approval, what might you allow yourself to accept? Acceptance involves recognizing what things are and not expecting those things to be different. This could apply to anything from the weather to aspects of ourselves and our loved ones.
If forgiveness is not permission, what might you be able to forgive? Forgiveness relates to acceptance in that it is acknowledging that someone has done something and that nothing you or they do can change it. Secondarily, it involves giving yourself permission not to put more energy into trying to change what happened.
Acceptance and forgiveness are strong words, and I believe that we accept and forgive when we are ready, but I wonder if changing the understanding of the words takes some weight away from them. Perhaps you can even learn to accept and forgive yourself.